googletag.cmd.push(function() { Some people see things that are and ask, Why? It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. What do you say? If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. I think people should be allowed to do what they want. Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the State houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. George Carlin, 63. If you can connect with theseGeorge Carlin quotes, subscribe to our blog so that you dont miss a single post. My first rule, I dont believe anything the government tells me And I dont take very seriously the media or the press in this country. George Carlin, 82. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Thats exactly what I want you to think. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. "ObfuscatedMarketplaceId": "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1" Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school. American Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, 46. 383 talking about this. If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? The challenge is to find it. Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. }; You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating and you finish off as an orgasm.George Carlin, Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. A.src = t; That's the problem. Thats the problem. George Carlin Quotes - Facebook One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. George Carlin, 51. var source = getCookieWithoutJQuery("source"); Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking. Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. It always has been. You and I are not in the big club. War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. A.async = !0; " Forget the politicians. George Carlin. The upper class: keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. And, let me tell you, theres nothin like it. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. Let George Carlin Inspire You! #shorts #georgecarlin #motivataion # Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. George Carlin, 24. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. node.parentNode.insertBefore(gads, node); And when you suspend your individual beauty you also give up a lot of your humanity. The people are fucked.George Carlin, A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed.George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.George Carlin, I think I am, therefore, I am I think.George Carlin, Everyone smiles in the same language.George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think.George Carlin, Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, 83.Theres a reason education sucks, and its the same reason it will never ever ever be fixed. I dont believe anything the government tells me., Governments dont want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. I have certain rules I live by. session: { id: "334-5362882-2183381" }, Theyre always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Gandhi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. he must of been a brilliant man mostly misunderstood by most people wish i would of met him in person one on one, 51 Best John Muir Quotes On Nature, Mountains, Trees, 50 To Kill A Mockingbird Atticus Quotes With Page Numbers, Happy Birthday Nephew Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Happy Birthday Daughter Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Good Morning Happy Monday Images With Quotes, Wishes, Cute & Romantic Happy Birthday Love Images For Him, Her, Happy Birthday Dog Images With Quotes For Your Puppy, Happy Birthday Niece Images With Wishes, Messages, Quotes, Depression Quotes Images | Feeling Sad Pictures, Wallpaper, Happy Birthday Son Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages, Happy Birthday Husband Images With Quotes, Wishes, Messages For Hubby, Good Morning Quotes Images To Make Your Day Beautiful. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. They own everything. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads.com Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear themusic. Were gonna save the fuckin planet? And, by the way, theres nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, 15. George Carlin 13. gads.async = true; [CDATA[ And fight songs. #government. George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I, myself, have killed six people. In this blog post, well take a look at some of his best quotes on the subject. window.Mobvious = {}; Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question what they read. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, 26. fetchBids: function() { We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Did you enjoy this article? // Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? Quotes. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate We earn from qualifying purchases. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin, 9. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. If black boxes survive air crashes why dont they make the whole plane out of that stuff? George Carlin, 55. window.csa("Config", { Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Aw, hes a comedian. Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. Just daydreaming. 3. Toothpicks?George Carlin, No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. function getCookieWithoutJQuery(name) { We dont even know how to take care of ourselves; we havent learned how to care for one another. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin, 22. Everything He ever makesdies.George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.George Carlin, Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.George Carlin, There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. 87 Best George Carlin Quotes On Education, Politics & Life Best George Carlin quotes on life, religion and politics Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, 53. googletag.cmd = googletag.cmd || []; Apparently, were not ready for that! George Carlin, 72. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.George Carlin, Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuckGeorge Carlin, I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. Stand-Up Comedy. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. 4. He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin, 40. They own you. Trouble is, most of them suck. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Really? I hate groups of people. When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. George Carlin, 34. googletag.pubads().disableInitialLoad(); He was an American standup comedian. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. Showing 1-30 of 421 "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." George Carlin tags: humor , insanity , lies , lying , self-indulgence , truth 19588 likes Like "The planet is fine. I think that speaks for itself. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if youre really looking.George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die,your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. You will do things in the name of a group that you would never do on your own. They all said: Try to live together peacefully. BAM! So, we must be clear about our expectations for government and its role in our lives. They all said: 'Try to live together peacefully.' I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. This is the best we can do folks. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.George Carlin, When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?George Carlin, The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.George Carlin, Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. In this blog post, well take a look at some of Carlins most famous quotes on government. ' George Carlin, 56. Its never just a game when youre winning. George Carlin, 7. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience." - George Carlin 2. Laugh often, long and loud. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. I look at war a little. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, 44. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, 6. a[a9]._Q.push([c, r]) The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. Were so self-important. George Carlin. 3. Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck. George Carlin, 52. A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does. What are your favorite George Carlin quotes? Everybodys going to save something now. Igor is a SEO specialist, designer, and freelance writer. I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Its because volunteers work for no pay. People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think. George Carlin, 28. What exactly is viewer discretion? And the supreme arrogance? Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? Well, we know what they want. Pictures. Government is an important institution. Its never going to get any better. 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" George Carlin 14. window.Mobvious.device_type = 'mobile'; if (window.ue && window.ue.tag) { window.ue.tag('author:quotes:signed_out', ue.main_scope);window.ue.tag('author:quotes:signed_out:mobileWeb', ue.main_scope); } "ebfg_email", "ebfg_sms"]; Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe. g.parentNode.insertBefore(A, g) _Q: [] Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. Famous quotes on life, death, politics and of course the American government. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice., Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups., If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else., Political correctness cripples discourse, creates ugly language and is generally stupid., Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out., When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person., If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders., If you have selfish and ignorant citizens then you too will become a selfish and bad leader.. Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends, George Carlin (2002). I think every day all children should have 3 hours of daydreaming. " George Carlin Quotes "War will end when people stop showing up for it. Hes not a cheese. The planet is fine. And a list of people they're going to visit at 3am. 101 Marianne Williamson Quotes That Will Enlighten You. The planet is fine. My mind doesnt work that way, I got this real moron thing I do, its called thinking and Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions I have certain rules I live by. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. George Carlin, 49. Quote by George Carlin: "Political correctness is fascism pretending to Please dont forget to subscribe to ourRSS-feedor followInspirationfeedonTwitter,Google+,andFacebook! The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate.George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. a[a9] = { They're imaginary. George Carlin. George Carlin Philosophy, Real, Lying 192 Copy quote I've set my own rules to live by. I think the life cycle is all backwards. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. When you are born, you get a ticket to the freak show. If youre born in America you get a front row seat.George Carlin, Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things.George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.George Carlin,Napalm & Silly Putty. Your dog thinks you're a god. George Carlin quotes on the American government In America, anyone can become president. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. George Carlin, 60. George Denis Patrick Carlin was born on May 12, 1937, was an Americanstand-up comedian, actor, social critic, and author. 5. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. Quote by George Carlin: "But there's a reason. There - Goodreads Theres a humorous side to every situation. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, 10. Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Whether you agree with him or not, Carlins views are definitely worth considering. They're always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Ghandi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. setDisplayBids: function() {}, 2023 Inspirationfeed. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. He was born May 12, 1937, in New York City into an Irish Catholic family, but he rejected the faith. Welcome | QuoteSaga We talk too much,love too seldom, and hate too often. 14 George Carlin Quotes on Education, Kids & Parents - Fatherly Electricity is really just organized lightning. George Carlin's Estate, via HBO. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! "//securepubads.g.doubleclick.net/tag/js/gpt.js"; George Carlin has many famous quotes about government, education and the American dream that are often referenced as truth. The 531+ Vicious Quotes Page 5 - QUOTLR Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. George Carlin, 62. }); To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. The planet is fine. Its all very confusing.George Carlin, People are wonderful. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("grsession", "osid.b75ee1b4ab41ae6cecc3e4c769a5b3df"); My motto: Fuck Hope! George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Im happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. }, [CDATA[ }()); You have owners. I sincerely believe that if you think theres a solution, youre part of the problem. Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away. George Carlin Quotes Government George Carlin American Comedian born on May 12, 1937, died on June 22, 2008 George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. I love individuals. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("signedin", "false"); How are YOU going to tackle today? } "CacheDetection.RequestID": "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", Weve added years to life, not life to years. died on June 22, 2008, George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. I just dont have as many people who believe it.George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelet?George Carlin. A person of good intelligence and of sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality and its not just a bleeding-heart, knee-jerk, liberal kind of a thing it is just a normal human reaction to a nonsensical set of values where we have cinnamon flavored dental floss and there are people sleeping in the street. George Carlin, 68. Creative Commons. 50 Best John Mulaney Quotes For Every Comedy Fan, 13 Best Writing Tools for Inspired Authors, 30 Of The Best Dale Carnegie Quotes on Having a Great Life, 45+ Enlightening Quotes and Pieces of Advice, Inspirational & Spiritual Quotes From (365) Days of Tumblr, 40 Progressively Inspirational Sevenly.org Quotes, 45 Inspiring Quotations That Will Change The Way You Think #2, 5 Tips To Keep In Mind Before Hiring a Therapist Online, comedy about a singer who pretends to be a nun, friday funny motivational quotes for work, funny quotes about stupidity and ignorance, george carlin don t sweat the small stuff, george carlin on god the planet and the freak show, george carlin sayings that don t make sense, i dont want nobody fucking with me in these streets, positive funny inspirational quotes for work, quotes about getting screwed over at work. They own all the important land. Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. Being considered as one of the top comedians of all time, George is well known for his black humor, political views, observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many other All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? You have no choice. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. Don't forget to confirm subscription in your email. Get future posts byemail,oryou can follow us onInstagram,Pinterest,andFacebook. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. Manage Settings - George Carlin profile quotes. You work forty years until youre young enough to enjoy your retirement. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. George Carlin, 31. The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. He was regarded as an influential and significant comic of all time. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. A = p.createElement(s); A Death! Period. They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. Enjoy! We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. 2. Hes just sayin that stuff. Good. Napalm & Silly Putty, Hyperion. document.getElementsByTagName("head")[0].appendChild(stylesheet); Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointedidealist. George Carlin, Never argue with an idiot. George Carlin was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, after he passed away that year at the age of 71. I have certain rules I live by. Comedian } Thats the problem. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. q("i", arguments) var ue_mid = "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1"; Lists. " George Carlin Quotes And armbands. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. One of comedian George Carlin's more notable quotes, pointing out a reality of American life is, "It's a big club, and you ain't in it." His words are a simple commentary on the ruling. Period. George Carlin Quotes (Author of Brain Droppings) - Goodreads
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