They thanked me for being willing to so openly and comfortably talk about plural marriage. Growing up, Elder Richard G. Scott's mother was a less-active member and his father did not belong to the Church. Heres how a new speaker series can help you find it: Temples are some of the most beautiful places on earth, but the work that takes place inside of them is what makes them sacred. However, the couple experienced tragedy about five years after their marriage. This may make him feel powerless and controlled by the system. And, like plural marriage itself, they are not going away.68. Anti-Mormons are constantly pushing and picking at members faith in order to plant seeds of doubt and to destroy members testimonies. Broadcasts Video Images Music Podcasts and Radio. See Don Bradley, Mormon Polygamy before Nauvoo? : Latter-day Saint Ambivalence over Its Polygamous Past, in The Persistence of Polygamy, 88, and Lesson 31: Sealed . Our Father in Heaven loves His children. These survey results provide an opportunity for personal reflection. Be patient and reach out yourself. Was the Apostle Paul married? They are not members of this Church. It is human nature, explained one Mormon blogger, to choose aspects of our past that we feel define us. However, it wasn't until years after Elder Bednar's mission and after he was married that his he received an answer to the question he had been asking his father all those years when his father called him to ask, "What are you doing this Saturday? The Lord still loves you and will No, Divorce currently disqualifies a man from becoming a Bishop, Stake President, Seventy, Apostle or Prophet. Joseph Walker, Sarandon Calls Pope a Nazi, Maher Calls Mormonism Ridiculous, Deseret News, October 20, 2011, accessed October 21, 2011, https://www.deseret.com/2011/10/20/20224517/sarandon-calls-pope-a-nazi-maher-calls-mormonism-ridiculous. Copy in authors possession. E-mail correspondence, August 11, 2011. That means the majority of adult Latter-day Saints both women and men are unmarried, widowed or divorced. apostle Gerrit Gong said Saturday morning. In their examination of the divorce rate within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, using both civil and temple marriages combined, McClendon and Chadwick (2005) estimated that the current lifetime divorce rate for returned-missionary men to be approximately 12% and for returned-missionary women around 16%. . And when he was 15 years old, Elder Cook experienced something that would draw from both lessons. It is television shows and books like these that confuse non-Mormons. She surely was one of the many noble women who have lived in the latter days (Elder Dallin H. Oaks, "What are Prophets and Apostles: Elder Dallin H. Oaks,"lds.org). Even while serving his mission, Elder Bednar would end his letters with "Dad, I love you. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saintss uncomfortable relationship with its polygamous history is somewhat like an awkward marriage separation. With his father serving as asoldier in the war, President Uchtdorf's mother was left alone to transport her four children via a refugee train heading west to Germany during the winter. Recent Events Highlight Confusion of Polygamy. For the actual presentation, see http://www.fairmormon.org/perspectives/fair-conferences/2011-fair-conference/2011-a-reconciliation-of-polygamy. His first plural wife was Fanny Alger in 18351836 as explained by Bradley, Fanny Alger, in The Persistence of Polygamy, 1458. Jana Riess, My Polygamous Heaven . Even some of those who became aware of plural marriage at a young age approach the subject through a 21st-century prism that warps their understanding. In contrast, Craig L. Foster, David Keller, and Gregory L. Smith use both history and a statistical review of Mormon and non-Mormon marriage practices in Illinois and neighboring Iowa to demonstrate that marriage to teenage women was not uncommon for the place and time in which Joseph Smith lived, nor was it considered pedophilia: The Age of Joseph Smiths Plural Wives in Social and Demographic Context, in The Persistence of Polygamy, 15283. For example, television talk show host Bill Maher explained that Mormonism is a religion founded on the idea of polygamy. 24. You can seek peace in these matters by praying and, if you feel you need extra support, by counseling with your bishop. There should, then, be a better historical and doctrinal explanation of plural marriage in adult Gospel Doctrine classes. Interpreter Foundation is not owned, controlled by or affiliated with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 59. As for the OP. Clear editor. Thirty-five percent of the sample (includes all religious affiliations) who had originally married civilly were either currently divorced or remarried. WebExcommunication in Mormonism. All of us know someone who has been divorced. Though Elder David A. Bednar's father was not baptized until later in life, he was very supportive of his wife and children attending Church meetings. However, Elder Oaks says, through "the blessings of the Lord, she did recover and she was stronger than ever"(Elder Dallin H. Oaks, "LDS Leaders and Mental Illness," Mormon Channel). When I suggested to a volunteer at Church Hosting that we take the guests to the Beehive House, she immediately said, Oh you dont want to do that., I asked why not and she gave a nervous laugh and said, Well, you know., She gave another nervous laugh and repeated, You know. She continued, They might ask questions.. There was not, unfortunately, a good representation of race and ethnicity: almost all of the respondents were Caucasian, with just a few identifying themselves as Hispanic or Asian/Pacific Islander.33 Respondents lived all over the United States as well as in Canada and several other countries. If someone believe[s] differently is it really worth getting upset over and offended? Finding Wholeness and Happiness after Divorce. WebThis is a list of well-known Mormon dissidents or other members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) who have either been excommunicated or With every separation or divorce comes uncomfortable reminders of former relatives. John the Baptist was a descendant of Aaron and as such, he held the keys of the Aaronic Priesthood. To his knowledgge this policy came from the Area Seventy. BoydK. Packer, The Shield of Faith, Ensign, May 1995, 8. Throughout his life, Elder Oaks admired his mother's fortitude and ability to raise her children in the gospel. Do they still classify unmarried men over the age of 25 as "menaces to society"? ), 63% continued going to church in the same ward, 16% continued going but went to a new ward, Many ward members avoided me like the plague because they simply didn't know what to say to me. Pauline Christians can continue to have faith in a celibate savior who is divorced from his family, his people and his times. This is, in part, because of the fitful, painful cessation of plural marriage and the ever present reminders of its complicated past. 21. One female survey respondent commented, I dont feel a need to defend the original practice, and I dont think it is an eternal principle. 53. They did everything they could to raise us the right way" (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, "Elder Quentin L. Cook: A Willing Heart and Mind", April 2008Ensign). About 78.7% of Muslim divorcees are women; for Hindus, this figure is Ok, just confirmed. One survey respondent wrote, Inadvertently finding out the truth about polygamy/polyandry absolutely devastated me.42 Another complained about Joseph Smith shacking up with women for years and then wrote, I am glad I discovered the truth about dirty Joes polyandry. I am much happier as a saved Christian outside the vile, lying Mormon cult.43, Discovery of Joseph Smiths polyandrous marriages can be a traumatic experience. In fact, Elder Bednar said in his April 2012 general conference talk that some members in his ward did not know his father was not a member because he regularly attending Church meetings with his family and helped with various Church activities. Is there somewhere i can look this up? Her expression approximated that of a deer in the headlights, and she replied, Well, his wife., I finally realized that she did not want to discuss Brighams plural wives, especially if I was accompanied by non-members, so I dropped the subject.30, This experience is likely not an anomaly. Web3 are often quoted as addressed to his wife, but there is no authority for such a reference. Increase and Maria Van Dusen published a series of tell all pamphlets about the temple ceremony and polygamy during the 1840s and early 1850s. This is true even if your parents temple sealing to each other is canceled. In a message to divorced members, Dr. Swinton continues, If you have experienced divorce, don't beat yourself up or feel you are lesser in any way. WebMy Home Donations Temple Appointments Leader and Clerk Resources Missionary Portal Ward Directory and Map Calendar Meetinghouse Locator Notes Patriarchal Blessing All Tools. The LDS believe: After the deaths of the Savior and His Apostles, men corrupted the principles of the gospel and made unauthorized changes in Church organization and priesthood ordinances. Healthy adjustment requires an ability to be kind when you may not feel like it, to maintain confidence and self-worth, to be able to tolerate painful feelings while continuing to function, to be patient with others involved, to be fair and non-vindictive, and to maintain a solid spiritual foundation, which can draw you closer to the Lord, who has descended below all things and whose Atonement is sufficient to heal and lift you (D&C 122:8). Plural marriage was introduced to Church members by the Prophet Joseph Smith in the 1840s as a commandment from God and continued as doctrine and an official practice until 1890.1 Official Church support for plural marriage ended [Page 46]after the Manifesto, and many members have come to see this change as the final end of plural marriage. At the age of 11, President Uchtdorf watched as his family split up, each taking separate routes to Frankfurt until only he and his mother remained. My goal now is to do all I can to remain faithful to Christ, build a strong new marriage, and be as good a model to my children and stepchildren as I can.. 69. WebIn their examination of the divorce rate within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, using both civil and temple marriages combined, McClendon and Chadwick And not just one isolated no. Foster, Like Two Crazy Aunts in the Attic.. 28. In many ways, Fundamentalist Mormons are like Latter-day Saints former relativesex-uncles or crazy former cousins who cause embarrassment and discomfort, for they remind us of a married past we would rather forget. This will help you examine your own behavior and see things more accurately. Plural marriage has proven to be a prime weapon because a little of the truth can be devastating. Given how central the family is in Church doctrine, divorce in the Latter-day Saint community is a sensitive and complicated issue. When Elder Oaks was about 11 years old, he took a small job sweeping the floor of a radio repair shop, eventually working his way to radio engineer and announcer in his late teens. Would a menace make a good Bishop? I think that is a fantastic way for it to be done. Many, when they saw me coming, would look the other way, one participant shared. 32. He was baptized on 10 March 1998 in Reyjavik, the capital city of Iceland, while serving on active duty in Keflavik Iceland with the United States Navy. The new apostles could come from general authorities of the church, or from the church membership at large. These are truly touching and delicate experiences that members of the Church endured as they divorced. All who have been through divorce know the pain and need the healing power and hope that come from the Atonement. 1. Your link has been automatically embedded. would have helped., [It] would be nice if [others] had some idea of how devastating divorce is and could have helped me get through the grieving process. Copy in authors possession. And, later, the priesthood/Relief Society lesson about Doctrine and Covenants section 132 discussed celestial marriage but did not mention plural marriage. Discovering the details of his polygamous practices was particularly distressing (polyandry, 14-year-old-wives, etc.). Divorced male members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are now required to obtain permission from the First Presidency before being sealed to a second wife. For a more detailed discussion of anti-Mormon accusations and stereotyping, see Craig L. Foster, Victorian Pornographic Imagery in Anti-Mormon Literature, Journal of Mormon History 19/1 (Spring 1993): 11532; Old Themes and Stereotypes Never Die: The Unchanging Ways of Anti-Mormons, FAIR, 2003, accessed October 14, 2011, http://www.fairlds.org/FAIR_Conferences/2003_Unchanging_Ways_of_Anti-Mormons.html, and Craig L. Foster, Penny Tracts and Polemics: A Critical Analysis of Anti-Mormon Pamphleteering in Great Britain, 18371860 (Salt Lake City: Signature Books, 2003). If two men are available to be bishop and they are equally qualified in every way except one man is married and the other is not, you can expect the married man to receive the call. There is more of a stigma associated with it. ?58, The discussion by e-mail continued back and forth between those who believed that plural marriage was a celestial principle and those who either did not believe or at least questioned whether it was indeed something that would be practiced in the Celestial Kingdom. Elder Cook and his brother deeply respected their father and decided to talk about their father's advice. [Page 71]. Church Participation. Dr. Swinton says, Love them. . During their journey, President Uchtdorf also described the kindness of others who donated food and hot drinks to President Uchtdorf's family until they made it safely to Germany. (That doesn't mean the policy doesn't exist, but that I've never seen it). I for one will be getting a civil marriage first, not because of lack of faith or what have you but because it is what God has ordained. Most of these people, however, are just trying to find a way to react to something that is so contrary to accepted marriage patterns. Their third child, a baby girl, passed away at birth and their second child, a two-year-old boy, died six weeks later following a surgery to correct a congenital heart defect. The survey on plural marriage was titled Your Feelings About Plural Marriage and was conducted at SurveyMonkey, located at https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/GQZSTGR between September 16 and October 20, 2011. Elder Scott's parents would later serve in the Washington DC Temple for many years, and Elder Scott served as an apostle until he passed away Septemeber 22, 2015. Just do your best. Im a Mormon, I know it, I live it and I love it. So if you were born to your parents after they were sealed in the temple (born in the covenant) or were sealed to them in the temple yourself, you are still sealed to themboth of themeven after a divorce. There were also several who identified themselves as fundamentalist Mormons of former LDS membership. 65. However, it is obvious more needs to be done to answer the questions and concerns of members of all ages. I am not sure that those that faithfully practiced it many years ago would be with that conclusiondo you? When people learn gospel principles as children, they are able to grow in their understanding as they learn line upon line, precept upon precept.64 It should be the same regarding the Churchs history of plural marriage. From the 1840s to the present, anti-Mormon literature has accused Church leaders and members of immorality and lasciviousness, [Page 48]with suggestions that Joseph Smith started plural marriage to cover-up his own adulterous affairs.6 The 1840s saw some early purveyors of the lustful and lascivious stereotype in the supposed insider exposs of John C. Bennett and the Van Dusens.7 Ironically, some of these clichd stereotypes are still being used today. His mother remarried, but Elder Baxter's stepfather was "not a good man" and times were difficult(Elder David S. Baxter, "Finding Hope in a Troubled Family," August 2015 "New Era"). Pay attention to the children who are going through a really bad time. This shaken feeling can leave a divorced man uncomfortable with Church attendance, especially if he believes that others are assuming he has been unfaithful to his wife. Later, Elder Cook would be called to serve as a counselor to his brother Joe, who was serving as the stake president at the time. Others believe they were released because they were now a bad example, or because local church leaders didnt want a divorced person in that role. My unhappy family history will not be passed on" (Elder David S. Baxter, "Finding Hope in a Troubled Family," August 2015 New Era). Copy in authors possession. From the time of its introduction, plural marriage has been wrapped in controversy. Participants were asked to rank from 1 to 7 the support they felt from various Church-related groups (1 being not at all supportive and 7 being very supportive). Thats just how it is.62. I would imagine if a divorced man was called as Bishop that it would have had to be approvied by the First Presidency. For example, several years ago the priesthood/Relief Society manual on the teachings of Brigham Young included a timeline of significant dates in his life, including his first marriage and his second monogamist marriage after the death of his first wife. Feelings About Plural Marriage. There was one who chose Native American as an identifier while there were no African-Americans represented. Bill Frost, Idaho Bans Ogdens Five Wives Vodka, City Weekly, May 29, 2013, accessed January 20, 2014, http://www.cityweekly.net/utah/blog-21-7669-idaho-bans-ogdens-five-wives-vodka.html. Elder Quentin L. Cook said growing up he learned how to trust the Lord from his mother, Bernice Kimball Cook, and how to set and achieve goals from his father, J.Vernon Cook. This website noted Mary Elizabeth Rollins Lightner married Joseph Smith in 1842 when she was seven months pregnant and queried whether the child was Adam Lightners or Joseph Smiths. We as friends, neighbors, ward members, [ministerers], family, etc., should show Christs love. Elder David S. Baxter, a general authority of the Seventy, found the gospel at a critical time in his life. Comments ranged from the positive to the negative and for some people, the discovery of the Churchs polygamous past was devastating. January 10, 2009 in LDS Gospel Discussion. I know of no specific policy that forbids a divorced and remarried man from serving in any leadership capacity. For examples of people who chose to secretly practice plural marriage while still members of the LDS Church, see Craig L. Foster, The Persistence of Plural Marriage Within Mainstream Mormonism: The Example of the Barr and Mary Musser Family, in Scattering of the Saints: Schism Within Mormonism, eds. . Your Feelings About Mormon Polygamy., 50. The only safe path through a divorce is to remain true to the gospel. I've also known several Bishopric Counselors who have been divorced. If Church members dont seem to reach out to you, dont be resentful. In fact, most of the literature discussing these marriages suggests Joseph had sexual relations with these women, usually without the cuckold husbands knowledge.9. 58. [They] could have helped me realize that there is more to being a member of the Church [than] being in a traditional families are forever kind of family., [Acknowledge] me as a person. For more information regarding these post-Manifesto marriages, see Drew Briney, Apostles on Trial: Examining the Membership Trials of Apostles Taylor and Cowley (Salt Lake City: Hindsight Publications, 2012); B. Carmon Hardy, Solemn Covenant: The Mormon Polygamous Passage (Urbana: University of Illinois Press, 1992); and D. Michael Quinn, LDS Church Authority and New Plural Marriages, 18901904, Dialogue: A Journal of Mormon Thought 18/1 (Spring 1985): 9105. True, many non-Mormons and even some members nervouslyor insensitivelyjoke about the plethora of plural wives in a suggestive way. Yet continuing Church activity exposes us to correct principles and surrounds us with caring people. Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available here. The missionary told how Brigham Youngs wife would keep house, and I naturally wondered which wife, so I asked. During a conversation regarding Mormon history, I mentioned in passing that Joseph Smith had plural wives. Nate Oman on Jeffs, August 25, 2011. Elder Baxter later served two years as a missionary in theScotland Edinburgh Mission and served as abishop, counselor in a stake presidency, stake president, counselor in a mission presidency, and as an Area Seventy. When he was 15 years old, Elder Baxter says he looked back on the challenges his family faced in his younger yearsalcoholism, divorce, povertyall of the things he couldn't change in his past and decided, "I will change the futurefor myself and for the children I will someday have. In my experience as a counselor, I found that, although much of what men and women experience in divorce is the same, there are some differences: While still married, men are more likely to minimize the seriousness of marital problems. Upload or insert images from URL. Many survey respondents noted that they felt most accepted and supported by nonmembers because they were not judgmental and there is less of a stigma around divorce in the outside world. Your Feelings About Mormon Polygamy., 43. Divorce was more prevalent in the early Church. In 1998, the late LDS president Gordon B. Hinckley proclaimed, I wish to state categorically that this Church has nothing whatever to do with those practicing polygamy. . In this collection, a variety of mental health professionals and others present their Latter-day Saint perspectives on divorce and related issues. Throughout his childhood, Elder Bednar would ask his father several times a week why he was not baptized. Furthermore, the Church must accept that there will always be coat-tail relatives to remind its members of their past. Elder Oaks remarried after the passing of his wife. Elder Ruseel M. Nelson also remarrried after his first wife passed away. If two men are available to be bishop and they are equally qualified in every way except one man is married and the other is not, you can expect the married man to receive the call. 49. Of his parents, Elder Cook would later say they "loved the Savior. Polygamy in the Spotlight, e-mail correspondence, July 14, 2011. While steps have been taken to inoculate members, more can be done. Those divorcing tended to perceive ward members as a group that was unsupportive, fearful, and judgmental. Gains have been made since the days I observed palpable discomfort in missionaries and volunteers. Because of plural marriages inherent sexual implications, it is natural there would be some discomfort and embarrassment. John C. Bennett, The History of the Saints; or, an Expos of Joe Smith and Mormonism (Boston: Leland & Whiting, 1842). Examples of some who have furthered and even built upon some of this sensational and inaccurate stereotyping are Fawn M. Brodie, No Man Knows My History: The Life of Joseph Smith (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1945); George D. Smith, Nauvoo Polygamy: . After leaving the museum, they tentatively, almost apologetically, asked me about how plural marriage started and what it was like. Beyond an overall dislike for plural marriage expressed by those who had negative views, there were several factors that seemed to particularly distress them. By Newell G. Bringhurst, Where Have All of Brigham Youngs Wives Gone? Foster, Like Two Crazy Aunts in the Attic., 31. Its in the handbook. for Time and for All Eternity in Doctrine and Covenants and Church History: Gospel Doctrine Teachers Manual, accessed February 14, 2014, https://churchofjesuschrist.org/manual/doctrine-and-covenants-and-Church-history-gospel-doctrine-teachers-manual/lesson-31-sealedfor-time-and-for-all-eternity?lang=eng. Nevertheless, more should be done since the obvious discomfort and embarrassment of Church representatives is not only fodder for anti-Mormons but also sets a poor example for their fellow members, many of whom are struggling with their own ambivalence about plural marriage. With simple explanations, children become aware of this aspect of Church history without being overly burdened by all of the complexities. Ultimately, the hope for Saints who struggle emotionally and spiritually with plural marriage is that a better understanding of the history [Page 76]and doctrine of plural marriage will encourage greater faith and bring solace to the soul. Divorce can be very stressful for years., Few things in life are as difficult as divorce, Dr. Swinton shares. Married or widowed are okay.
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